魏三小品半仙算卦(巍山算卦小品全集)

a:算命
b：？干么？蒜明天就来了，5毛3一斤，不讲价。
a：大哥，我算命！！！！
b：看清楚喽，俺还是个美女列。你公母不分啊！
........

出家

英语短剧：The Fox and the Tiger（狐假虎威)
T---Tiger F---Fox R---Rabbit B---Bird Fr---Frog B----Bear
Tiger: I’m a great tiger. I’m very strong. I’m very brave. I’m the king of the forest.But now I’m very hungry. I must find sth. to eat at once, or I’ll die immediately. Oh, there’s nothing here. And here is nothing, either. Oh, I want to have a rest. (Sleep soundly)
Fox: I’m a fox. You can see, I’m pretty and lovely. I’m good at cheating 0and telling lies. Just now I cheated a crew out of a piece of meat. Mm, Mm, Mm. How delicious it is!
Tiger: Ah, a fox. A good meal. Ah, a good meal.
Fox: Oh, my God! What should I do Yes, I have a good idea. Yes, a good idea. Hello! Tiger sister! How are you
Tiger: Not so good. I’m very hungry now. I want to eat you.
Fox: Oh, my dear! How dare you say that! I’m the king of the forest! I’m the king of the forest! If you want to eat me, I will let you die right now.
Tiger: She is the king. She is cheating me. I can’t belive her. I’m the king of the forest here.
Fox: If you don’t believe me, just follow me and see who is the king of the forest.
Tiger: Ok. Let’s go.
Rabbit: I’m a rabbit. I like to eat a turnip. Ah, a big turnip. Oh! It’s too hard. I can’t pull it out.
Bird: I’m a bird.
Rabbit: Hi!
Bird: Hi! What are doing here, Miss Rabbit Can I help you
Rabbit: Yes, please.
Frog: I’m a frog. Hello! What are you doing here What can I do for you
R&B: Yes, come on!
Frog : Ok! I’m coming!
Bear: I’m a big brown bear. Hello, everyone! What are you doing here
R,B&F: Come on! Come on! Mr. Bear! You are so strong. Please come here. There is a big turnip. We are all puling it out. Please come and help us.
Bear: Ok! I’m coming.
Fox: Hello, Bear!
Bear: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)
Fox: Hello, Frog!
Frog: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)
Fox: Hello, Bird!
Bird: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)
Fox: Hello, Rabbit!
Rabbit: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)
Fox: Tiger, Now, you see. They are so frightened! They all run away!
Tiger: Yes, you are right. It’s true. I’m very sorry. You are the king of the forest. That’s all right. I will run away. He is the king. He is the king.
Fox: Wa! There is a big turnip. Now, the turnip belongs to me.

不知庭院锁清秋
卧看窗下落飞虹
应该还好吧
自己一直想用来着

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应该是《小心点》。他还有一个比较经典的小品叫《得不偿失》、楼主可以去看看。希望我的回答能帮助你解决问题。